


Questions of Science Don't Speak as Loud as My Heart

by MyDamnHead



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, F/F, First Kiss, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Light Angst, Love Confessions, The Scientific Method, but only vaguely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:01:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23955022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyDamnHead/pseuds/MyDamnHead
Summary: “Listen, all I’m saying is that there’s a reason why it’s a universal process. You have an observation, you research, come up with a hypothesis. It’s just hard to be surprised when you look for the answers through information and experimentation when you already have an idea of how things are going to play out.”Well, it turns out Kara did know how to shock Lena. And not in a good way.Or, Kara takes a page out of Lena's book to find her way back to her.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 13
Kudos: 319





	Questions of Science Don't Speak as Loud as My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Finally allowed myself to get into SC the past few months and really fell in love with their dynamic.  
> This piece was inspired by the prompt "Nothing shocks me, I’m a scientist", The Scientist By Coldplay, and The scientific method.  
> Kind of canon-compliant but you'll see I've chosen to ignore a lot of things.
> 
> Warning: I have only two braincells and no beta.

“Nothing shocks me, I’m a scientist,” Lena states, setting her oversized cup back onto its saucer. Noonan's is quieter than usual for a Saturday morning. But it’s nice. Kara feels like there’s always so much going on between Lex and work, she never gets these moments with Lena anymore. 

“I think we both know that’s not true.” 

“Kara, you can apply the scientific method to anything- you have a question, you do your research, then you formulate a hypothesis” Lena quirks her head and her voice lowers “and more often than not I’m right.” 

“But that’s not how people work; you can’t just apply-”

“Are you calling me cold?” She responds with the sharp rise of an eyebrow.

“No! No, I’m just saying that-” Kara cuts herself off when she sees a smile play at the corner of Lena’s mouth. She can feel the heat rise to her cheeks at the tease. 

“Listen, all I’m saying is that there’s a reason why it’s a universal process. You have an observation, you research, come up with a hypothesis. It’s just hard to be surprised when you look for the answers through information and experimentation when you already have an idea of how things are going to play out.” 

Kara can see the gleam in Lena’s eyes. The look she gets when she speaks about something she’s passionate about. 

“I know, I just haven’t been a big science person since I arrived on-” This causes a squint from Lena but Kara quickly corrects herself “- uh, at the eighth grade.” Nice save. 

“And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. There are people in this world who view it analytically, and people who see it through arts, language, and intuition. I think both sides can appreciate each other too. Together we bring balance to the force.” 

“Lena, isn’t that a Star Wars quote?”

“Science nerd, remember? In this case that also includes being a science fiction nerd.”

“Well, I might not be able to shock you, but you continue to surprise me, Lena Luthor.”

-

That was 14 weeks ago. 

To be more accurate, 13 weeks and 5 days. But Kara wasn’t a scientist, so the rounding up didn’t bother her. She didn’t need to be exact. To be truthful it felt like an eternity since that morning. Since they…

Well, it turns out Kara did know how to shock Lena. And not in a good way. 

Lena knew. And Kara wasn’t the one to tell her. She never got to perform damage control. She never got to apologize or explain herself in the moment or give Lena the finite list of reasons she had from keeping that part of her life separate from her that never really seemed good enough in the first place. She never got to tell the most important person in her life who she was on her own terms. 

Sure, she had her chances, which Kara would never stop kicking herself for. But every time she tried it was always the wrong time. Too overwhelming. Too uncertain. Too much of a risk of losing Lena. Always too much. 

But Lena sat on the fact she knew her secret for weeks too. She pretended everything was okay when it wasn’t. Kara doesn’t know whether she feels sad or angry or if she’s even allowed to feel anything at all. 

Her question now is, how does she fix this? How does she get Lena back?

-

“You’re allowed to be upset, Kara,” Alex tells her. “You’re allowed to feel things, and just because Lena is hurt doesn’t mean-”

“I hurt her.”

“What?”

“You just said ‘Lena is hurt.’ but I was the one who hurt her. It was my fault.” This only earns a soft look from Alex.  
“I hurt her. I lied to her. I made her feel dumb when she’s the smartest person I know. I made her feel like the past few years were all a lie.” She feels her eyelids start to burn. Tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. She sinks further into her couch as if it will stop the sob from escaping her throat.  
“I made her think that I didn’t-” Kara’s tears start to run freely down her face. “She doesn’t know how much I-” The sobs finally escape her as Alex wraps her arms around Kara’s shoulders.

“I know Kara. I know.” Alex pauses to squeeze her sister’s shoulder. “But just because you hurt her doesn’t mean her hurting you back is right either.”

Kara tries to steady herself by biting down on the inside of her lip to keep any more sobs in. It gives her a chance to ponder Alex’s words. There’s a knock at the door. Alex gets up to collect their delivery. Kara uses the few moments to wipe her tears. She thinks maybe it’s time for a new approach. 

-

“May I make an observation?”

“Shoot.”

“Shoot what exactly? I don’t believe there are any threats around.”

“Nevermind. Go ahead with your observation, Brainy.”

“You’ve been upset.”

“How astute.”  
She hates the annoyed tone she hears in her own voice. She doesn’t mean for it to happen, but it’s tiring walking around with a broken heart. Feeling like your entire soul is broken, but people can’t physically see how broken you are. How much pain you’re in despite your being appearing whole.

“As is Ms. Luthor.” 

“Brainy,” Kara states his name like a warning.

“Emotions are running quite high with the both of you.”

“Do you have a point to this?”

“Kara, are you familiar with Nobel Laureate Elie Wiesel?”

“Sounds familiar.”

“He has this quote; the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference.”

To this Kara turns to Brainy to look at him squarely. Only Brainy would say so much with so little. An efficient mind. A science mind. 

“Thank you, Brainy.” She says earnestly. 

“You’re very welcome, Ms. Zor-El.”

-

“How you holding up?” Nia said in a low voice as she sat down next to Kara, placing a gentle hand on her arm. They had just taken down a larger than normal metahuman and Kara was taking a second to collect herself on a cool, steel bench at the DEO. The DEO felt colder now. Uncomfortable. Metahumans we’re a common thing and Lex was in charge of the DEO. The effects of the crisis felt like a disturbance to Kara’s whole existence and she was tired. 

A deep breath in. 

“I’m fine, really.”

“Really? It’s hard seeing you this not bubbly” she says gesturing at Kara. 

“Why are you asking if you already know the answer?” There’s no harshness in Kara’s words. It’s more spoken with a sense of defeat than anything.

Nia just shrugs and takes a sip from her water bottle while eyeing Kara conspicuously.

“Do you know something I don’t?”

“I mean that part of my whole, ya know, thing.” Her hands gesticulating all over the place on the last word for emphasis. “Knowing things that others don’t know yet.”

“Nia.”

“I really hope I’m not overstepping here, but I think you need to fight a little harder.”  
Kara knows she’s not talking about rogue aliens, metas, or common criminals.

“Nia,” She repeats her name. This time with a more stern tone. 

“I just think there are some things you need to say and she needs to hear.” Kara doesn’t bother asking who the ‘she’ Nia is referring to. 

“You think or you know?”

Nia stands and shrugs. “I’m going to get cleaned up and head back to work- will I see you there?” She turns and walks away “What am I saying? I know you’ll be there before I even blink.” She states to no one in particular. 

Kara quietly smiles to herself at Nia’s antics. She takes a moment to consider Nia’s words. Brainy’s words. Her sister’s words. She’s gathered her data. She has her research. And now she thinks she’s come up with her hypothesis. 

-

Kara has lost count of the times she’s found herself in this position. Hovering at a clear vantage point to Lena’s balcony. She’s sitting curled up on a couch that didn’t look like it was very comfortable to curl up on. She has glasses on, large lenses with thick black frames. She’s in a rare sweater and jeans combo, hair loose, but still effortlessly elegant. Engrossed in a novel. 

“I can see you, you know.” She says as a whisper, almost if it was to herself but Kara knows Lena knows she can hear it. 

Kara takes that as her cue. She lands as softly as she can on the concrete of the balcony as if any loud noise or sudden movements would scare Lena off. She sees Lena approach and opens the door. 

“Still not an entrance,” Lena states, turning back inside, refusing to meet Kara’s eyes. Kara takes it as an invitation and follows her in. Lena heads to the kitchen to pour herself some water while Kara watches. Still making sure not to scare this opportunity off, she stops halfway between the balcony door and the kitchen. She hovers and waits. 

“To what do I owe the honor, Supergirl?” Lena says as she leans against the counter. She knows she’s being facetious and the formality cuts Kara deep.

“Lena, please.”

“If this is not work-related I can’t imagine you having a valid reason to be-”

“Just listen, please,” Kara says firmly.

“I believe we said all there is to say to each other.”

“I have a theory.” 

“Oh, and what’s that?” Lena says, her voice dripping in sarcasm.

“We’re going to be okay. You and me. We’re going to be more than okay. You’re going to forgive me” She says with all the confidence she can muster. 

“There’s that Super bravado that people positively fall over themselves for. Kara, if you think you can just-” She approaches Kara in anger but stops halfway when Kara starts to speak again.  
“Because I’m going to fight for you.” A pause. “This. Us.”

The look on Lena’s face tells Kara that’s not where Lena thought she was going with this. She continues. 

“And you want me to fight for you, Lena.” 

“Bold of you to make such a statement.” 

“You know I’m right.”

“You, you need to leave.” She walks toward Kara as a gesture for her to exit the way she came. 

“I’ll leave but I’m not going to stop fighting, Lena.”

“You probably should because it seems like an immense waste of time.”

“I’m not going to stop because I love you.” Though the statement itself is one of softness, it comes out harsh, but the sentiment still shines through. Kara, despite still wearing her Supergirl voice, simultaneously feels like a planet has been lifted off her shoulders, and that she’s going to throw up. 

Lena pales at her words if that’s possible.

“I’m in love with you.” She adds, just for clarity's sake. “And I’m not going to stop because I think you feel the same way too.”

“No. No. You don’t get to do this. Not now. Not after lying to me for years.”

“I’m just letting you know where I stand.”

“Where you stand?” Lena parrots back. “I’m surprised you have the gall to make such a statement when the whole reason we’re here is because you didn’t do exactly that.”

“Listen, if I could go back to the start I would. I would change a lot of things. But believe me, if you saw how that turns out…”

“What?”

“Nevermind.” Deep breath in. “The biggest reason I never told you was that I was scared. Of losing the most important person in my life. And I’m not going to let the thing that was holding me back in the first place actually happen.”

Lena stays quiet so Kara continues. 

“I can’t undo what I did. But I can spend every day for the rest of my life trying to make up for it. But you have to meet me halfway. You have to let me try.”

“Goodnight, Supergirl.”

Kara, feeling defeated, turns and walks to her exit, only at the words Lena quietly exhales. 

“Wait, Kara.” A sigh. “You can try. I’ll try. But I don’t know how-” She stops herself and starts again. “I don’t know if I can.” 

“Nobody said it was easy.” 

She lifts off from the balcony with a smile she hasn’t worn in months.

-

It smells like burnt flesh. 

Kara had gone to see Lena for an actual work-related reason, and when she had arrived at her office, Jess had sent Kara down to Lena’s lab, letting her know she was taking a break down there for a few hours. She walks in to see her alone, holding her hand under the tap.

“Rao Lena, what happened?”

“I burnt my hand.” She states matter-of-factly. 

“Does it hurt?”

Lena gives her a deadpan look. “Yeah. It hurts.” 

“Here let me” she takes Lena’s hand, brings it closer to her face, and breathes a gentle stream of ice onto her palm.

She looks up and catches Lena’s eyes who quickly looks away. Kara knows she’d be flushing, if she could, realizing the intimacy of the situation. 

“Uhh.” She coughs and clears her throat. “First-aid kit?”

“In the supply closet. Overthere.” Lena says vaguely gesturing with her good hand to its placement.

Kara goes over and grabs a pack gauze and heads back to Lena.

“Hand.” Kara requests, and Lena places hers palm-side up in Kara’s. Kara uses her teeth to rip open the pack of gauze and quickly get to work. Again, it’s much too intimate, but Kara vows to herself just keep her head down and focus on her task, trying to ignore both Lena’s heartbeat and her own. 

“There, all patched up.” Kara gently runs both her thumbs over her work then releases Lena’s hand and steps back to admire her work. “How you feeling?”

“I’m tired, Kara”.

Kara only responds with a look of confusion, so she continues. 

“I’m tired of trying to be angry with you. I’m tired of working so hard to try and hate you when I can’t.” 

“Oh.”

“But I’m going to. I’m going to try, too. But I can’t promise anything. I need you to know that.”

“Okay,” Kara says in almost a whisper.

There’s an unsure beat that passes through the lab.

“So, why are you here Kara.” Lena’s change in tone is whip-fast. 

“Oh yeah!” Kara feels like she’s been snapped out of some TV drama and back into reality. “Boss lady wanted a quote on that evil secret billionaire cabal out of Coast City. Yeah. That’s why I’m here.”

“Well tell me, what do you think about that Ms. Danvers?”

-

It’s still hard. 

“Would you want to come over for a movie night? Just the two of us?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Kara.”

“Okay. I understand.” She turns to leave Lena’s office, feeling a little deflated when Lena’s voice stops her in her tracks.

“What about coffee? Noonan’s at 10 on Saturday?”

“Yeah. I’d like that.” Kara can feel her eyes crinkle as her smile stretches more than it has in a long time.  
-

Slowly, it starts to get better.

“So that was your mom?”

“Yeah.”

“And that was the first time you had seen her since…”

“Yeah.”

“Holy shit.”

“Believe me, I know.”

-

They’re on a park bench this time. Sharing their lunch breaks. Kara knows this is Lena trying. This is her making an effort. 

“Why don’t you trust me?”

“What” Kara tries to get out through a mouthful of burger. Lena just looks down at the coffee cup in her hands. 

Kara swallows and pushes on; “I do trust you, Lena, I told you I was just-”

“No, not that,” Lena says, effectively cutting her off. “There were so many times I would have a disagreement with Supergirl, but Kara Danvers would be there for me. And there were other times Kara Danvers would side with Supergirl and now looking back I feel like you were just…” Lena’s words falter off. 

There’s a moment of pause before 

“Every Time you had a disagreement with Supergirl, it felt like my stomach was being filled with gravel. And whenever you came to Kara with that, the weight of it doubled. And I know that’s not an excuse. To be honest I don’t have a good one. I made a mistake, and I have to own that. And I think we both have.” A beat. “But I do trust you, Lena. And I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life trying to show you that. You deserve that much.”

This time, it’s Lena who reaches out and takes Kara’s hand. Like she’s trying with all her might to hang on. To not let go of the possibility of everything being okay. Better than okay. 

-

A rhythm develops. One Kara finds hopeful. It’s the most hope she’s felt in a while. It takes a few weeks but it happens. It starts slow like a train leaving the station that then begins to pick up steam. Long workday lunches. Movie nights in. Back to Kara and Lena things. 

There’s a lot more of Lena hanging out with their other friends too. It feels like she’s back in the same capacity she once was in Kara’s life. Lena and Brainy’s over complex conversations that Kara let’s go over her head. Her playful banter with Nia and her more argumentative but still kind banter with Alex. Things feel back in place. 

Then there are the little moments. Half the time Kara feels the need to pinch herself because she swears she’s imagining it. Lena scooting closer to her on the couch in the middle of movie marathons. Hands repeated brushing against each other at the game nights where Lena has now returned too. It’s in the little touches that were never there before as if Lena’s hands were magnetically attracted to Kara. It’s in the looks she gives Kara across the crowd when she’s giving a press conference. It’s the phone calls, increasing with frequency and softness. It’s as if they had to separate to be pulled back in closer to each other. 

-

“I want to try something.” Kara’s words come out of comfortable silence. They’re sitting on Kara’s couch, some cheesy comedy playing in the background, both paying more attention to their ice cream than the film. 

Kara takes her bowl and places it on the coffee table. She then takes Lena’s who lets out a soft but indignant “hey!” at her action and places it next to hers. 

Kara shifts until she’s almost fully facing Lena. Lena looks confused until Kara reaches out and places a gentle hand on her neck, softly stroking her cheekbone with her thumb. Lena’s face softens at the action. 

“Kara.” She releases her name on an outward breath. She nods and Kara takes this as permission. 

So Kara takes a breath and dives. The kiss is soft and simple. It holds a lot of words they both still haven’t said yet. Kara feels herself holding back. Like she’s still afraid that if she pushes too much Lena will leave. 

So she stops, takes a breath, and leans her forehead against Lena’s. 

Apparently her breath was taking too long for Lena’s liking, who has now wrapped her hand around the back of Kara’s neck and pulled her back in. 

This time there’s more force to it. It’s more sure, more wild. Mouths open more and suddenly there’s tongue involved. Kara doesn’t hold back anymore.

They both quickly become overeager. It’s messy and uncoordinated, but that’s not what this moment is about. 

“Yeah, that’s what I hypothesized,” Kara says breaking the kiss, grabbing her bowl and placing it back on her lap, purposely ignoring Lena’s look of shock, while a smug look settles onto her own face. 

Apparently this annoys Lena, who makes the decision to move to swing one of her legs over Kara’s so she’s firmly in her lap, she rests her forearms on her shoulders, and she kisses her, much to Kara’s enjoyment. 

They both try to ignore the cold stickiness of melting ice cream spreading between their bodies until it becomes too much to pretend it’s not there.

“Oh my god Kara, I’m so sorry.” She says laughing against her lips.

“It’s okay, let’s just go change.” 

“Both of us?”

A smile plays at the corner of Kara’s eyes “Well I was planning on taking off your clothes anyways”

“Bold, Supergirl.” 

Kara doesn’t mind the alter-ego name this time. There’s no coldness to it. No disdain or anger. But a mix of mirth, happiness, and love. 

-

“So what conclusions did you draw.”

“Hmm?” Kara let’s out as she shifts to lay on her side, a pillow tucked under her arm to get a better look at Lena. Lena then moves her body under the sheets so she mirrors Kara’s as she speaks. 

“After you kissed me, you said it was what you ‘hypothesized’.” She reaches over to tuck a loose strand of wavy blonde hair behind her ear. “Time to share your results.”

Kara just leans over and kisses Lena’s forehead, her cheek, her mouth, “What do you think? You’re the scientist.” her neck. 

Lena moves away so she can look at Kara’s eyes. She puts her hand on Kara’s cheek and holds her there. 

“I love you, Kara Zor-El. My Kara.” Words spoken hardly above a whisper.

“And I love you, Lena Luthor.”

“Thank you for knowing how to surprise me.”

“In a good way?” Kara raises an eyebrow suggestively. 

“Yes, Kara. In a good way.” She leans back in to kiss Kara when she rolls on top of her. Only good surprises for the two of them from now on. 

-

They show up together for game night, but don’t say anything. 

The hand brushes feel more obvious and intentional. Kara swears the whole room knows already without them saying anything. Well, at least J’onn does for sure. And also Alex because she couldn’t stand the thought of keeping this from her sister. And they weren’t planning on saying anything but then Lena pulls off an unprecedented move during RISK and Kara is just so happy she can’t stop herself from kissing her out of sheer pride in front of everybody. 

“Get a room you two!” She can hear Alex throw her cards down but doesn’t miss the smile in her tone. 

Kara can hear Nia and Kelly try to stifle their laughter and Brainy talking about his probability of still being able to pull off a win. 

Kara cuts off the kiss too soon for her own liking. She quickly stands and smooths out her clothes. “Can I get anyone anything from the kitchen? How about more wine!” She doesn’t bother to wait for answers. 

“I’ll go with you!” And Nia jumps up. 

In the kitchen, Kara starts pouring a few glasses of wine for everyone. “So is that what you saw?” She asks Nia without looking up from her task. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” There’s a coyness to her voice. 

“Nia.”

“Maybe I saw a little farther into your future together.”

“Nia, what does that mean?”

“I’m sure you could come up with a theory. Put the evidence together.”

“Nia, can’t you just tell me?”

Nia just hums at her question and grabs two glasses to bring back to the group. 

“Nia!” She shouts after her, but to no avail. 

Kara turns back around and smiles to herself. She hypothesizes at that moment that her future with Lena will be good. Better than good. She just knows she has to wait to see how their experiment plays out.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Let me know what you think. :)  
> Again- No beta :P
> 
> come yell at me


End file.
